I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
