Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
