rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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