dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize