Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
