I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
