I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
