You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
