Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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