Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
