He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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