I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I sprained my soul last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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