who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
