I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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