Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
