my being single is dangerous.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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