booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
false alarm, still single
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
