the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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