ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You can't just leave with hair like that
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
