Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
