my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
