So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
