How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it penis luge time yet?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize