Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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