if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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