Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
