OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
