doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your topless pictures make me question reality
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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