Small penises have feelings too.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
