mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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