well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
