If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
