You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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