Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
