lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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