We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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