it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
