Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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