it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
