question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
