Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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