she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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