drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
