let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Acid is not a monday night drug
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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