Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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