I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
