I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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