Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
