I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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