Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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