5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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