I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
