We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
