We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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