Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
