Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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