Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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